The Turning Point (from Chapter Three: No One Will Do This for Me)
Coming to the realization that no one will do this for me was a defining moment, a turning point in each woman's financial life. In this moment she transferred the authority for her life from the external world to herself. Virtually every smart woman I interviewed spoke of this realization as an awakening that led to action.

Please note: "Mr. Right" or "Prince Charming" need not be a man, or even a person. Our "prince" could be an ideal job, an insurance settlement, the lottery jackpot, or just an amorphous "something"--anything that we fantasize will save us financially. To become genuinely smart with money, we must get to the point where we can say with total conviction, I can do it myself. It doesn't matter if we are single, married, or living with a partner. Until we cast off our dependency and know with every fiber of our being that the quality of our future hinges on our assuming responsibility, we will never fully take charge of our finances. We'll never really believe we can do it ourselves--not as long as even a tiny part of us is waiting for, hoping, expecting someone (or something outside ourselves) to do it for us.

The myth, not the man, has to go (from Chapter Three)
Which is not to say that we have to relinquish our relationships in order to assume financial responsibility. Psychologists tell us that when a woman becomes financially independent, she gains self-assurance and peace of mind, and her relationships become healthier and more mature.

Many of the women I interviewed were quite happily married or in satisfying relationships. Some were married to financially savvy men, while others had partners who were their polar opposites, with no money, no financial skills, or no interest in the subject. If, as Freud said, there are no coincidences, I wondered if those women were trying to eliminate any financial cushions so they'd be forced to take charge. Several women spoke of this quite candidly.

"My husband could care less about this stuff," one woman told me. "I look at it as an advantage. I know if my husband were different, I wouldn't do anything. I know me. I'd stay where I was comfortable. I wouldn't do it myself otherwise. I wouldn't push myself."

Most women, in fact, discover they like taking charge, being part of the action. Even if they don't run the show, they feel infinitely more secure and self-confident when they understand what is going on behind the scenes and know enough to make informed financial decisions or keep tabs on the people who are making those decisions for them.

What Does It Mean To Be Smart About Money? (from chapter two)The whole concept of wealth and what it means to create wealth is a commonly misunderstood notion. Ask ten people what "wealthy" means, and you'll get 10 different answers. A philosophic friend once told me, "wealth is when you have a dollar more than you need"; whereas an heiress I knew to be worth millions said bluntly, "If I had a billion dollars, then I'd be wealthy." A businesswoman I interviewed said she would feel wealthy "when I make my first million." Yet another seemed to think one million dollars was nice, but not enough to qualify her as wealthy. And another happily told me she finally felt wealthy because she could walk into a store, buy what she wanted, and not have to rush home and figure out how to fit it into her budget.

Creating wealth doesn't mean you have to make millions (or marry a millionaire). Wealth has nothing to do with the size of your paycheck, an inheritance, or lottery winnings. One can earn a lot of money and still not be wealthy. Conversely, one can have a modest salary and create wealth.

Wealth is not so much what you have. Wealth comes from what you do with what you have. You create wealth by investing, or putting your money into assets that will grow. Oseola McCarty, an 88-year-old cleaning lady, made the news when she set up a $150,000 scholarship fund for minority students. Where did she get all that money, earning only $10 an hour washing people's clothes? By following the advice of bank officials who told her to invest conservatively. "It's not the ones who make big money but the ones who know how to save that get ahead," Oseola wisely explained.

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