Some Denial is Good For the Soul!
“Forgetting what you are not enables you to remember what you are”
-A Course in Miracle
I sometimes wonder if we’re hardwired to hate discipline. I think exercising discipline is to adults what eating veggies are to kids… we do it because it’s good for us. But that doesn’t mean we have to like it!! And we’ll try anything to get out of it!
It wasn’t until my interviews with women who make millions that I had a stunning realization. The key to disciplined action is disciplined thinking.
When I shifted my focus from making myself do something to monitoring my thoughts, my behavior changed (almost) automatically.
I started using a technique I call Constructive Denial. That meant I began consciously and deliberately denying any limiting beliefs, irrational fears or feelings of inferiority about how small, inadequate or inconsequential I was. As a Course in Miracles explains: “Denial is as capable of being used positively as well as negatively.”
For instance, when that voice in my head says (as it often does) “you don’t have what it takes to do that!” instead of caving in, I come back with, “Thanks for sharing, but I absolutely DO have what it takes.” That one retort dramatically reduces my resistance to taking action.
That’s what these successful women told me they did. They carefully observed their conversations (internal and external), making sure they didn’t lapse into—or catching themselves when they did—automatic self depreciatory or negative patterns.
As a long time mega earner explained to me, “You have to remind yourself: I’m OK. I have strengths. It’s hard. But you have to!”
They made themselves focus on their strengths and successes, talk about their achievements, and reaffirm their value to themselves. They were constantly giving themselves pep talks, and repeating positive affirmations.
I found a terrific affirmation in a fabulous book called The Master Key System by Charles F. Haanel: “I am that which I will to be.” When I feel stuck, scared or small, I repeat that phrase, followed by “I have everything it takes to be a stellar success,” or “I am bursting with creative ideas for my next blog”. Then I act as if it’s true. It may seem contrived. But it actually works.
I suspect a lot of you do the same thing. Share your affirmations by adding a comment below.