It’s Never Success That Scares You!! Never!

Written by Barbara Huson

She sat across the table, looking every bit the savvy businesswoman that she was.

As we chatted over kale salads, she told me how her company, not yet two years old, was growing exponentially.

Then she lowered her voice and leaned in close. “There’s something I need to talk about. I’ve never shared this with anyone.”

“What is it?” I asked, also leaning forward, our foreheads almost touching. I could tell this was difficult for her.

“I’m afraid of success. I can already see little ways I’m holding myself back.”

“Tell me what you’re scared of.”

“I’m afraid people won’t like me,” she began slowly, then quickly added, “I’m afraid people will want more of me than I can give them. I’m so busy now, I’m afraid I’ll have no time for myself. I’m scared it will all be too much.”

“You’re not afraid of success,” I responded. “You’re afraid of power. There’s a definite difference.”

I share this conversation with you because I believe it reveals a critical distinction that we women need to understand. Let me explain.

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It’s NOT about Money!

Written by Barbara Huson

The Bag Lady Syndrome is alive and well. In the latest Allianz Women, Money, and Power Study (2013), almost half the women polled are scared of becoming a bag lady –even those earning more than $200,000 per year. Why do so many bright, capable, and…yes…successful women continue to struggle with financial insecurity? Why do you?

The answer, I believe, has nothing to do with money…and everything to do with our fear of (or ambivalence about) power.

Phyllis Chesler wrote in her groundbreaking book, Women, Money, and Power: “Money is a power sacred to most men and foreign to most women.” These words written over 30 years ago, still hold true today.

The problem, as I see it, is this: We’ve never been taught the secret wisdom of creating wealth and exercising power, as women. Studies reveal that the sexes view money and power through very different lenses.

Generally speaking, a man’s self-esteem comes from his achievements; power itself is the ultimate goal. A woman derives self esteem from relationships; power is a means to an end.

So while men covet the cachet of the corner office, women crave the opportunity to help others, grow personally, and live authentically.

The word ‘power,’ which comes from the Latin word, potere (‘to be able’) means the “ability to act or produce an effect.” The definition applies to both genders.

But as it relates to women, I much prefer to define power using the words of psychologist Eric Fromm: “The main task in life is to give birth to our self to become what we actually are.”

When you view power from that perspective, you begin to understand our resistance more clearly. Essentially, our fear of power is our fear of becoming who we really are, doing what we were put here to do, in the biggest way possible.

This fear keeps us settling for less instead of asking for more, shrinking to fit rather than playing full out, clinging to safety to avoid taking the leap.

This is precisely the reason I developed my new body of work, Sacred Success®. Rather than pushing women to pursue power in traditional fashion, Sacred Success® seeks to redefine power from a feminine perspective.

I’ll be exploring this whole issue of women and power in future blogs. Meanwhile, I’d love your feedback: How would you redefine power? Or would you?

Coming Out of The Closet…Yikes!

Written by Barbara Huson

As a writer, I’ve been torn by conflicting goals. A big part of me wants everyone’s approval. Another part yearns to speak my truth. To me, the two have been mutually exclusive.

Ever since the 80’s, when I began writing a weekly column in the San Francisco Business Journal that was syndicated in over 30 large newspapers, I’ve always couched my unconventional views in acceptable verbiage.

Slowly, over time, I’ve been dipping my toes in the waters of transparency, outing myself a little bit at a time.

But, I finally did it! I swung the door open and stepped out of the closest…almost all the way! I wrote about Sacred Success® in the traditional media, on Forbes.com. (Women, Wealth, and Power: The Emerging Paradigm)

Sure, I’ve talked about Sacred Success® on my website, in my Money Monday Calls, and various social media.

But you’re my peeps. You’re safe. I’ve never discussed it in such a public forum, with a much larger audience, many I suspect to be very conservative.

The response has been overwhelming. The article has been shared more times online, generated more email, than anything I’ve ever written.

In the article, I describe The Feminine Face of Financial Success…how women today are playing a very different game than the world (read: men) models…a game I call Sacred Success®.

Men are very driven by profit, perks, and prestige. Not women. Once a woman is financially secure, she’s rarely motivated by money. What drives her is an added spiritual component, a deep commitment to a higher purpose—how she can achieve Greatness by helping others, while still being richly rewarded.

I suspect the few men who responded didn’t quite get the point. But the women…oh the women loved it. In exposing myself, I gave them permission to do the same!!

“It warms my heart to think about all the other women who, like me, want to make a difference while leading a healthy and wealthy life,” wrote one woman, echoing the sentiment of many.

If this idea warms your heart as well, if you desire to find other women who feel the same, I invite you to consider attending one of my Sacred Success® Retreats. I hold two retreats each year—one on the east coast and one on the west coast.

In this 4 day Retreat, I gather a small group of decidedly committed women, teach you the Feminine Formula for Financial Success and create a community that imbues each other with a deep sense of mission, a plan of action for wildly succeeding,and follow up support for at least a year.

It’s far more than a seminar. It’s a ground breaking paradigm shift. Will you join me?

The Gift of Pneumonia

Written by Barbara Huson

Let me fill you in on what’s been happening since my last blog.

I’ve been practicing the principles of Sacred Success®. And let me tell you, it’s made a huge difference in my life.

Take for example, how my year began…with a nasty case of Pneumonia that wouldn’t respond to antibiotics.

I had just hired a highly skilled team. We set a series of deadlines….none of which I’d be able to meet.

BSS (Before Sacred Success®), I would’ve gone into a tizzy of ‘why me,’ bemoaning my bad luck, angry over the distractions, feeling like a looser

But instead of cursing the circumstances, I looked through the lens of Sacred Success®.

What I saw: it was time to Surrender. I knew Surrender was critical to Sacred Success®. But, hey, I already did it (see Sweet ? Surrender).

However, as I was learning, Surrender is not a one (or two) time event, but an ongoing occurrence.

Sacred Success® is an intricate dance of moving forward in Disciplined Action, then stepping back in Receptive Surrender. The signs indicating when to change steps are subtle at first. Clearly I wasn’t paying attention.

Pneumonia forced me to cancel everything. And, as Sacred Success® insists, I did so without judgment.

In Sacred Success®, nothing is ‘bad’ or ‘good’; ‘positive’ or ‘negative.’ Everything that happens is a source of information regarding our next step.

As I began mining the pneumonia for the message it had for me, I quickly stumbled on the Mother Lode.

“I’m actually enjoying doing what I never let myself do…stay in bed,” I wrote in my journal.

Here’s what was amazing. Even while bed ridden, I was still quite productive. I designed a new course, reworked copy on my website, had some fabulous conversations, attracted several amazing opportunities, took on new coaching clients. All in my pjs, punctuated with long periods of rest, happy as can be.

Then I realized what happened: As soon as I created my team, I slipped into busyness. It’s what I always do when I get focused.

Unconsciously, I’ve just assumed building a business meant crammed calendars, constant motion, lack of freedom, pressure to produce. No wonder, at some point, I always burned out…or lost interest.

But, I wondered, how do you play full out without going into over-drive?

My Pneumonia gave me another option and the permission to pursue it. The message: It’s ok to be still, to block out lots of unstructured time. It’s good for my creativity!

Guess what happened when I shared this finding with each member of my team, asking for their support in preserving my downtime? My health began to improve.

Believe me, it hasn’t been easy. Maintaining blank space goes against my very nature, like a shark whose internal sonar system won’t let it stop swimming.

But this time, I want to be productive from a state of rest and peace, not from intensity and frenzy.

I’ll keep you posted on how it’s working!

Yikes! I Can’t Possibly Take Time OFF!!!

Written by Barbara Huson

“There is no need to learn through pain” ~~A Course in Miracles

I wonder how many of you are craving some down time, a chance to step off the treadmill, but just can’t seem to swing it?

That’s where I was 2 years ago.

I remember saying to my guy, with a heavy sigh: “I wish I could take the next month off.”

“Why don’t you?” he responded.

I gasped! How could I possibly do that? I had all these “important” things to do!! Taking time off was unthinkable.

Then it hit me. I’d been interviewing women who made millions (my next goal) and saw something I never expected.

Right before these women soared, each one sank into a period of nothing happening, a time between, a void, often as a result of a crisis, like a devastating illness or painful loss.

These time-outs served an essential role in their eventual triumphs because they used them, as one woman put it, ‘to regroup and come back stronger.”

At that moment, I decided I wasn’t going to wait for a crisis. I could choose to step off the grid…by design, not default.

I invite you to do the same. Especially if you’ve had this nagging sense you need some down time.

I took 4 days off, going to a nearby hotel where I spent the entire time in self reflection. It was during this time I discovered Sacred Success®.

Believe me, I had no idea a whole new body of work was living inside me, waiting for me to slow down and tune in.

Maybe it’s time for you to slow down and tune in too. That’s why I created a Sacred Success® Retreat, as a way to give women a structured time out to go within.

If you can only take a day off, or even a few hours, that will work too. And you don’t need to go anywhere.

The whole idea is to eliminate distractions, do only what’s essential, connect with your inner wisdom and listen to what it has to say. (For more info, read my blog: The Beginner’s Guide to Surrender.)

You might be surprised with what you discover. If you’d like to share, I’m all ears!

Somebody’s Got To Say No!!!

Written by Barbara Huson

Put me on record for saying NO!

NO to the way the “Old Boys” are playing! No to the mess they got us in (and not just in the financial sector).

But I’m also saying “YES!” (No point dwelling on the downside.)

YES to the other game I learned from interviewing women making millions. These women achieved mega success playing a very different game from what the world (read: men) models.

It’s the game I’ve come to call Scared Success™. It’s the game we women (and many enlightened men) were born to play!

What breaks my heart, however, is that too many of us futilely struggle to follow the old rules, without realizing we have another option.

Briefly, here’s 6 differences between the Male Model and the Feminine Formula (which is the basis for Scared Success™ ).

Male Model Feminine Formula

1. Pursue Profit for Profit’s sake	1. Pursue Profit for a Higher Purpose
2. Push Yourself (and Everyone Else)	2. Respect Yourself (and Everyone Else)
3. Plan and Control	3. Surrender, Allow Uncertainty
4. Display Entitlement	4. Exercise Mental Discipline
5. Create Teams, Control Them	5. Create Teams, Inspire Them
6. Leave a Personal Monument to Your Name	6. Leave a Legacy for the World

In my next blog, I’ll give you the specific ground rules for applying the Feminine Formula to the new game Scared Success™ . Meanwhile, I’m really curious what you think about these differences. Please comment below.

Women, Money, Power…Oh My!!!

Written by Barbara Huson

“We are still trying to overcome the fear that power and womanliness

are mutually exclusive.” Arianna Huffington

Q. Why do so many women have trouble with money? (Hint: it has nothing to do with money.)

A. It’s about power…or rather, our fear of power.

Here’s the problem. Most of us have never been taught the secret wisdom of achieving wealth and wielding power, as a woman. In fact, historically, women have been carefully conditioned to avoid power as a survival mechanism. As a psychologist once told me: “Powerful women have been burned at the stake.”

Admittedly, many women have attained economic success in the male system, but it usually came at an appalling price. In 2003, New York Times reporter Lisa Belkin sparked a media frenzy when she coined the phrase “the opt-out revolution” to describe the flood of women exiting the workforce. They were no longer willing to stay in a system that rewarded the sacrifice of self for the sake of success.

But what the media defined as women opting out, I believe was, in large part, women waking up. They were beginning to question the status quo, realizing there must be a way to stay true to themselves and still be well compensated, without selling their souls or sacrificing their values.

For centuries women have come together to trade recipes and remedies, share tips on catching a man or raising a child—but there is little, if any, collective wisdom for wealth and power.

4 years ago, I began interviewing Mega Earners, women worth millions. What I learned changed my life. These women were playing a very different game than the one society models, with very different rules. I call this game Sacred Success™. And I’m determined to teach this game to as many women as I can.

Consider this blog my personal invitation to join me for one of my Sacred Success Retreats. The Retreats are meant to be part of an ongoing tradition of women sharing their wisdom, with a new breed of role models who’ve achieved unprecedented success on their own terms, in a very different way than men have been doing it for centuries.

Won’t you join me? Click here for more information or to register.

Greatness or Mediocrity? A Matter of Mindset.

Written by Barbara Huson

Mediocrity sees difficulty in every opportunity. Greatness sees opportunity in every difficulty. (paraphrasing Winston Churchill)

Since September, I’ve kept in touch with the graduates of my last Sacred Success® Retreat. Part of the curriculum is a year-long follow up.

You know what their primary challenge has been? (Mine too.) Not getting sucked into the Mainstream Mentality, the way “Everybody” thinks, responds, and sees the world.

Sacred Success requires a radically different mindset…because it has a radically different goal. Mainstream is heading for Mediocrity. Sacred Success is going for Greatness.

One of the biggest differences is how each camp views difficulties.

To the masses, problems are at best annoying distractions, if not dreadful disasters, setbacks to surmount as quickly as possible.

In Sacred Success, however, all problems are considered pathways to Greatness, pointing the way to pursuing your purpose.

Instead of struggling to overcome the obstacles, Sacred Success surrenders to every situation, looking for the lessons embedded in the circumstances.

Maintaining that perspective, however, isn’t easy. The mass mentality has an insidiously intense pull that’s always at play. You need a lot of support not to succumb.

If you’re ready to play bigger than ever before… If you’re ready to be supported by a community of like-minded women…If you’re ready to experience what Maria DeCarvalho did

“I left the retreat with a much clearer vision of what is possible for me. My time with Barbara has helped me recognize doors where I thought there were only walls.”

…then, my friend, you are ready for Sacred Success.

If you’re ready to find doors where there now seem only walls, join me for one of my Sacred Success Retreats. I hold one on the east coast and one on the west coast every year. Learn more here!

Confessions from a Metafiscal Teacher

Written by Barbara Huson

I have a confession to make. Do you know why I teach Sacred Success®? Because that’s what I need to learn. And no one learns more than the teacher. Consider this recent experience.

I had taken on a lot of projects the last few weeks. I was bursting with new ideas, excited to bring each one to fruition.

Yet, I began to feel myself slowly, subtly, almost imperceptibly slipping into…I couldn’t even say. My enthusiasm waned. I wasn’t as happy. I felt mildly overwhelmed, slightly off kilter. But it made no sense. I loved everything I was doing!

Then I went to visit my daughter, the farmer. There, down on the farm, Mother Nature taught me a mighty lesson: The Power of Pruning.

One of my daughter’s chores was pruning the fruit trees. Last year, the farm had a disappointing crop. The problem was they weren’t pruned enough.

“If you don’t prune back most of the new buds,” Anna explained, “too much of the tree’s energy goes into producing foliage instead of growing fruit.”

Without sufficient pruning, she continued, trees spread themselves too thin, reducing the amount of fruit they bear.

In my world, everything’s a metaphor.

Was I, like a fruit tree, spreading myself too thin? Was I letting too many budding projects sap my creativity, my energy, my focus?

I started wondering: if I cut back my output, would I, in the long term, bear more fruit?

Now we get to my confession. This is exactly what I’ve been teaching in Sacred Success™. Yet (gulp) part of me is scared to cut back. The other part knows I need to.

What do you think? I welcome your advice.

Metafiscal Goes Mainstream (OMG!)

Written by Barbara Huson

Well, I’ll be darn. Is the Wall Street Journal turning Metafiscal?

I open last Saturday’s Journal and there it was… a half page article waxing Metafiscal. Of course, it didn’t use that term. But it certainly preached a major principle. (Read the WSJ article)

According to the article, the biggest super stars swore their stellar success was literally sanctioned by God.

The reporter was focusing on pop singers, pro athletes, and movie stars (who, admittedly, could also be accused of narcissism). Nevertheless, the mega earners I interviewed–who were very successful, just not in the spotlight–told me the very same thing…

…in almost identical words. Talent is important but never underestimate the “motivating power of divine conviction” to stack the odds in your favor.

“Believing that God wants you to be famous,” says the reporter Neil Strauss, “actually improves your chance of being famous.”

On the flip side Strauss discovered, “many equally talented but slightly less famous musicians I interviewed felt their success was accidental or undeserved—and soon after fell out of the limelight.”

This “faith gap,” he says, “is often what sets the merely famous apart from the ridiculously famous. It can make the difference between achieving what’s possible and accomplishing what seems impossible.”

This is precisely how Sacred Success works. And it makes perfect sense. Those with a Divine sense of mission–who believe their marching orders come from a Higher Authority–possess a fire in their belly that makes them unstoppable.

Makes you think, doesn’t it? What is your Divine Purpose? Do you believe you even have one? I’d love you to share your thoughts in the comments below.

If you want to learn more about Sacred Success click here.

Blog

It’s Never Success That Scares You!! Never!

It’s NOT about Money!

Coming Out of The Closet…Yikes!

The Gift of Pneumonia

Yikes! I Can’t Possibly Take Time OFF!!!

Somebody’s Got To Say No!!!

Women, Money, Power…Oh My!!!

Greatness or Mediocrity? A Matter of Mindset.

Confessions from a Metafiscal Teacher

Metafiscal Goes Mainstream (OMG!)

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