Blog

Problems are Starting Points

Problems Are Your Starting Points

Financial achievement is often preceded by a financial challenge. Problems have a purpose. They’re trying to get our attention.

The place to begin is admitting what’s not working in your life. It could be anything from bankruptcy or burn out; from feeling undervalued or overworked; from getting a divorce, or desperately wanting one.

No matter how subtle, how small, or how sizable and scary, your willingness to face the problem head on the first step to breaking through it.

Facing a problem means looking it straight in the eye, even if you haven’t a clue what to do about it…especially if you haven’t a clue. Face it without shame blame or judgment. Face it even without a solution in sight.

Discomfort Brings Success

Discomfort is a Good Thing!

The number one requirement for financial success (or success in anything for that matter) is simply this: You’ve got to be willing to be uncomfortable.

Anxiety, fear, worry, nervousness, resistance…all these are normal reactions to new situations.

Fear does not mean something’s wrong. Fear just means that you’re doing something different. And doing it differently is exactly what’s required to go to the next level.

So if its financial success you want, start looking for ways to be uncomfortable.

It’s NOT about Money!

Dollar SignThe Bag Lady Syndrome is alive and well. In the latest Allianz Women, Money, and Power Study (2013), almost half the women polled are scared of becoming a bag lady –even those earning more than $200,000 per year. Why do so many bright, capable, and…yes…successful women continue to struggle with financial insecurity?  Why do you?

The answer, I believe, has nothing to do with money…and everything to do with our fear of (or ambivalence about) power.

Phyllis Chesler wrote in her groundbreaking book, Women, Money, and Power: “Money is a power sacred to most men and foreign to most women.”  These words written over 30 years ago, still hold true today.

The problem, as I see it, is this: We’ve never been taught the secret wisdom of creating wealth and exercising power, as women. Studies reveal that the sexes view money and power through very different lenses.

Generally speaking, a man’s self-esteem comes from his achievements; power itself is the ultimate goal.  A woman derives self esteem from relationships; power is a means to an end.

So while men covet the cachet of the corner office, women crave the opportunity to help others, grow personally, and live authentically.

The word ‘power,’ which comes from the Latin word, potere (‘to be able’) means the “ability to act or produce an effect.” The definition applies to both genders.

But as it relates to women, I much prefer to define power using the words of psychologist Eric Fromm: “The main task in life is to give birth to our self to become what we actually are.”

When you view power from that perspective, you begin to understand our resistance more clearly. Essentially, our fear of power is our fear of becoming who we really are, doing what we were put here to do, in the biggest way possible.

This fear keeps us settling for less instead of asking for more, shrinking to fit rather than playing full out, clinging to safety to avoid taking the leap.

This is precisely the reason I developed my new body of work, Sacred Success®. Rather than pushing women to pursue power in traditional fashion, Sacred Success® seeks to redefine power from a feminine perspective.

I’ll be exploring this whole issue of women and power in future blogs.  Meanwhile, I’d love your feedback: How would you redefine power? Or would you?

 

 

What’s Really at the Root of the Financial Crisis?

In the 21st century, women will change the nature of power rather than power changing the nature of women.”

—Bell Abzug

 

The headline of a recent article in Bloomberg Business Week caught my eye: “ Is the Financial Crisis a Male Syndrome?”

Could it be,“ the authors ask, “ that male domination of market finance results in excessive speculation and risk-taking at the expense of global stability?”

Ya think?? Clearly, the guys have been calling the shots.  No surprise there.

What surprised me most—the co-authors were both men!

I was heartened to know there are a few enlightened men (including the Dali Lama)  who are waking up to an obvious truth.

Excessive testosterone is running the world, which as these authors admit, leads to greater aggression and risk taking (ie. Global  wars and financial crisis)

The solution?   “Gender rebalancing.” With more women in power, the authors insist, we’d see  enhanced risk management , less volatility,  improved financial markets  and better ambiance in the office.

No argument from me! But here’s what I want to know.

Who’s going to do the rebalancing? What’s it going to take to get more women in power?

I ask this question with a sense of urgency…but without a clear answer.

Face it, no one is going to do it for us.  If we want a seat at the table, it’s our job to take it.

How? We can begin by having the conversation among ourselves.  We can begin by becoming the change we want to see in the world. Call it a grassroots effort…a personal challenge.

What if each one of us starts by noticing where, in our own life,  we are giving our power away and consciously strive  to take it back?  What if each one of us starts speaking up, making sure our voice is heard…and respected?  What if every one of us asks for and offers to help each other in this endeavor?

I truly believe, if enough women step fully into their own power, we’d see a giant ripple effect  on the global landscape.

What do you think?

To the 99% Who are Pissed Off!

Dear Occupy Wall Street protester,

I share your frustration. And I agree with your premise: economic inequality, Wall Street excess and corporate greed are appalling and unacceptable.

Might I make a suggestion? Maybe there’s a more potent way to produce change.

What if you took at least a portion of your fury and redirected it toward  the only place real change can ever occur, the only place you truly have power…yourself.

What if you focused some of your energy into becoming part of the top 1% yourself…then  change the system as an insider? In other words, become the change you want to make.

Don’t you ever wonder why the rich keep getting richer? Doesn’t it seem curious that no matter how bad the economy, there are still people prospering?

  • Despite the financial crisis, the number of millionaires in the United States rose a whopping 16 percent to 7.8 million in 2009.
  • The top 10 percent of Americans now earn around 50 percent of our national income.

Admittedly luck plays a part. But based on my research, I found 2 other factors, just as important, and far more in our control.

When I studied women whose net worth grew substantially, I discovered they followed a 2 prong process–the Outer Work and the Inner Work of Wealth.

I’m not saying it’s easy…or without challenges. But from experience, I know it’s possible. As I learned firsthand, financial success is much more in our control that we realize.

Besides, what do you have to lose? I mean, it’s worth a try.  Here’s what you do:

The Outer Work of Wealth—be vigilant in following the 4 Rules of Money

  1. Spend Less. Never spend more than you earn. Stop using credit cards.  Start repaying your debt.
  2. Save More. Pay yourself first. Sock away enough to cover unexpected emergencies, a half year of living expenses, and some fun stuff like a vacation or new pair of shoes.
  3. Invest Wisely. At least part of your money must be in assets that will grow faster than inflation and taxes. Educate yourself so you make investing decisions from knowledge, not fear, ignorance, or habit.
  4. Give Generously. But only after you’ve built a solid financial foundation. Otherwise you’ll jeopardize your future security, and diminish the impact you can make with your money

The Inner Work of Wealth—explore your attitudes, beliefs, decisions you’ve made about yourself and money that may be keeping you stuck in the 99%. I’ve got a ton of resources on my website.

Please, don’t stop the protests. But as Gloria Steinem put it: the revolution must start from within.

 

Stanny’s Law of a Lousy Economy

Have the headlines got you spooked?

Let me introduce you to Stanny’s Law of a Lousy Economy. It goes like this: no matter how tough times are, there’ll always be people who are prospering. Why not you?

I discovered this law after I wrote Secrets of Six-Figure Women...at  the height of the dot com boom.  But when the bubble finally burst, I called each woman back to see how they were faring.

Even as the economy was tanking, many of their careers were thriving. They were finding new jobs, negotiating raises, winning promotions, doubling (even tripling) their client base, making more money than ever before.

“Just because it’s a down time,” said a woman whose coaching business was up 40 percent, “You don’t have to go down with it. There’s lots of opportunity. You’ve just got to find it.”

That’s not to say there weren’t those who suffered a job loss or saw lower profits. Yet even they were amazingly upbeat about their future.

I asked one woman how she felt when the hedge fund she managed collapsed. Her reply: “I regard it as a godsend. As long as the money was so good, it was tough to leave and look for something more challenging.”

These women viewed the slumping economy as the perfect chance to pin down new strategies, explore something different or position themselves for the inevitable recovery.

They  never used bad times as an excuse not to stretch. Rather than buying into bad news, they concentrated on their value.

One high earner had just negotiated a very lucrative compensation package for a new job. When her boss balked at her terms, she refused to budge.

“I have a lot to contribute and the company needs to compensate me appropriately or I’ll go elsewhere,” she told him.

I see exactly the same thing happening today. While many (read: underearners) are focused on doors closing, high earners are finding windows of opportunity.

Here’s just one example. A woman who came to my Sacred Success® Retreat last May just sent me this email:

“I’ve increased my business income 3 ½ times since the retreat,  compared to all of 2010. Most importantly, I am happy, peaceful and content.  I feel calm, more comfortable in my own skin.”

Why not you too? While most of the world is focused on hard times, I invite all of you reading this blog to look for potential opportunities. They’re there. I promise!

Enhanced by Zemanta

Time to Have a Love Affair with Your Money

“It’s amazing what you can do with money!” my daughter said to me the other day.

Her husband, a film maker, is directing a documentary funded by a generous sponsor with very deep pockets. Normally, he’s working on a shoestring. This time, he gets pretty much free rein to do fun things, like travel to far-off places and hire helicopters for various shots.

Yes, it is amazing what you can do with money.  What’s puzzling is why are countless women ignoring their finances?

I’m beginning to think its fear of relationship.

In my mind, money is like a Perfect Lover. All it wants to do is serve you and support you. All it requires, in return, is to be respected and appreciated.

In other words, just like a man, money needs your attention; it needs to feel understood, cared about, and valued. Otherwise, it’s not likely to stick around for the long haul.

As in all relationships, there are good times and bad times.  Right now, it’s one of those bad times for many.  If you’re in that spot, this is not the time to turn your back, throw in the towel or ignore your money. At least not if you want money to be there for your old age.

Now is the time to work on creating more intimacy with your money. Get to know it better. Learn what it needs and how to best care for it. Make sure it feels the love. (The “love of money” is NOT the root of all evil! Deprivation and destitution is.)

Some suggestions for improving your relation$hip:

1.       Talk to a professional. Make an appointment with a financial advisor.  (Try my book Finding a Financial Advisor You Can Trust)

2.       Give it attention. Read something every day about money, even if it’s just a paragraph. (Try the Wall Street Journal)

3.       Talk to others. Ask friends and colleagues who are smart with money for advice

4.       Be wary of hype, rumors and scare tactics. Bad news can be seductive, but it’s usuallyskewed.

I honestly think it’s time we all start having a love affair with our money.  You’ll be amazed at what you’ll be able to do together as a result .

Somebody’s Got To Say No!!!

Put me on record for saying NO!

NO to the way the “Old Boys” are playing!   No to the mess they got us in (and not just in the financial sector).

But I’m also saying “YES!” (No point dwelling on the downside.)

YES to the other game I learned from interviewing women making millions. These women achieved mega success playing a very different game from what the world (read: men) models.

It’s the game I’ve come to call Scared Success™.  It’s the game we women (and many enlightened men) were born to play!

What breaks my heart, however, is that too many of us futilely struggle to follow the old rules, without realizing we have another option.

Briefly, here’s 6 differences between the Male Model and the Feminine Formula (which is the basis for Scared Success™ ).

Male Model                                                                           Feminine Formula

1.  Pursue Profit for Profit’s sake 1. Pursue Profit for a Higher Purpose
2.  Push Yourself (and Everyone Else) 2.  Respect Yourself (and Everyone Else)
3.  Plan and Control 3.  Surrender, Allow Uncertainty
4.  Display Entitlement 4.  Exercise Mental Discipline
5.  Create Teams, Control Them 5.  Create Teams, Inspire Them
6.  Leave a Personal Monument to Your Name 6.  Leave a Legacy for the World

 

In my next blog, I’ll give you the specific ground rules for applying the Feminine Formula to the new game Scared Success™ . Meanwhile, I’m really curious what you think about these differences. Please comment below.

 

Women, Money, Power…Oh My!!!

“We are still trying to overcome the fear that power and womanliness

are mutually exclusive.” Arianna Huffington

Q. Why do so many women have trouble with money?  (Hint: it has nothing to do with money.)

A. It’s about power…or rather, our fear of power.

Here’s the problem. Most of us have never been taught the secret wisdom of achieving wealth and wielding power, as a woman.  In fact, historically, women have been carefully conditioned to avoid power as a survival mechanism.  As a psychologist once told me: “Powerful women have been burned at the stake.”

Admittedly, many women have attained economic success in the male system, but it usually came at an appalling price. In 2003, New York Times reporter Lisa Belkin sparked a media frenzy when she coined the phrase “the opt-out revolution” to describe the flood of women exiting the workforce.  They were no longer willing to stay in a system that rewarded the sacrifice of self for the sake of success.

But what the media defined as women opting out, I believe was, in large part, women waking up. They were beginning to question the status quo, realizing there must be a way to stay true to themselves and still be well compensated, without selling their souls or sacrificing their values.

For centuries women have come together to trade recipes and remedies, share tips on catching   a man or raising a child—but there is little, if any, collective wisdom for wealth and power.

4 years ago, I began interviewing Mega Earners, women worth millions.    What I learned changed my life.  These women were playing a very different game than the one society models, with very different rules.  I call this game Sacred Success™. And I’m determined to teach this game to as many women as I can.

Consider this blog my personal invitation to join me for one of my  Sacred Success Retreats. The Retreats are meant to be part of an ongoing tradition of women sharing their wisdom, with a new breed of role models who’ve achieved unprecedented success on their own terms, in a very different way than men have been doing it for centuries.

Won’t you join me? Click here for more information or to register.

 

 

5 Words Say it All…

I’m flipping through the Wall Street Journal, when 5 words practically slap me in the face. I’ve no idea what the article was about. But the phrase super-glued itself to my brain.

“The Survival of the Focused…”

Those 5 words sum up the Big Secret to mega financial success.

Those 5 words mark the major distinction between an Underearner and a High Earner.

Those 5 words capture the very essence of what it takes to achieve Greatness.

And for anyone who’s struggling to make ends meet, or live their dream, I say heed those 5 words.

I’m convinced these 5 words offer the key to not just surviving, but thriving, in this new economic paradigm.

This may sound weird, but I’ve always considered myself blessed with an unfair advantage. I’m only good at and enjoy doing 2 things: writing and teaching. Period! I understand why so many with far more skills than I often feel stymied.

Focusing can be very frustrating for the multi-faceted or multi-gifted. But if you want my advice–prioritize your passions. No matter how many interests, talents, opportunities, or possibilities are available to you, financial success will go to the focused.

Do you agree? I’d love to hear what you have to say. Please leave me a comment below!

Meet Barbara Huson

When a devastating financial crisis rocked her world, Barbara Huson knew she had to get smart about money… and she did. Now, she wants to empower every women to take charge of their money and take charge of their lives! She’s doing just that with her best-selling books, life changing retreats and private financial coaching.

Top Back To Top
Site Design Rebecca Pollock
Site Development Alchemy + Aim